Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Why another hash in Portland?
A. Why not? We will be a little different. Here
are some of the ways:- warmup & introductions (before trail)
- mms at start (and sometimes beer)
- live trail (hares can pick the cranium start, but it can still be
live)
- songs (lots of different ones)
- hare waits at the BC
- no promises of food
- generally $6.9 hash cash
- hash tags for special events, wear them all the time
- travel to other hashes (road trips)
- there are no rules. no whining. you get what the hare
gives you and you like it.
- down downs for new shoes, racing shirts, matching shirts, etc
- halve mein marks (unless it's Cajun) (or unless the hare says
differently):
Q. What the f*ck is the Beaver Hash House Harriers?
A. We are a
drinking club with a running problem. We r*n and we drink. It's all
natural. Most of our members have beaver problems, sick humor problems
and terrible singing problems, too, but we all like to get together,
socialize and have a good laugh at someone else's expense.
Q. Why
are you called the "Beaver" hash?
A.
Because we are in the Beaver state, and the word "BEavER" is comprised
of the two most revered things in the hashing community: beer and
beaver (as in
bearded clam,
bologna curtains, box, breakfast of champions, cha-cha, cock pocket,
couch, crotch cobbler, cunt, dick depot, finger warmer, fortune nookie,
garage of love, gash, hair pie, home plate, hootch, kitty cat, lips
that never speak, muff, organ grinder, poontang, pussy, quim, red
snapper, snatch, sword swallower, twat). When combined, beer and beaver
= happy.
Q. Why
did you gratuitously use all those nasty words for vagina?
A. It just slipped out. I guess it's because I can't stop thinking
about beaver.
Q. When
can I join you?
A. C U Next Tuesday, or whenever we feel like it, so watch the
www.oregonhhh.com calendar.
The first unofficial trial is the Oregon-on
trail
from Beantown to the BEavER state from May to June 2007, making stops
at many, many hashes along the way. The last stop (and the first
official r*nning of the Beavers) is in Portland on June 19, 2007,
starting at the big Fred Meyer in Northeast. Hares away at 6.9PM. We
hope to host an Anal Turkey Twat around Thanksgiving.
Q. How
much does it cost?
A.
It's a cheap date. "Hash cash" is between $5 (just beer) and $6.9 (if
food is planned). It buys you some beer, plus membership in an elite
social club that, like the best beavers, pretty much lets anyone in.
Hash cash will be waived for virgins and anyone renouncing their home
hash.
Q. Do I
have to be an athletic m*r*thoner to r*n [expletives edited] with the
beaver hash?
A.
No. Some of our runs have been as short as 88 feet. Most trails last 69
minutes. One legendary trail, set by the Grande Beaver (amazon.cum) was
6.9 miles. We'll let you know if it will be "long," but good trails
keep the slow members of the pack with the FRBs, so no worries.
Q. What's
an FRB?
A. An FRB is an FBI who has, or used to have, testicles.
Q. What's
an FBI?
A. It stands for "First Beaver In:" the first female to get to the end
of the trail.
Q. Who is
Bee F*ck, and why do you call him that?
A. He is a mystical hasher legend, so named because he never quite went
all the way with a beaver.
Q. Is
Portland a truly great city?
A. Portland is pretty f*cking great, but truly great cities have a hash
every day of the week! We are getting there!!!
Q. What
sets the Beaver hash apart from the other hashes?
A.
Besides r*nning on Tuesdays, and having a better name, the significant
distiguishing factor is that we need friends more than they do.
Q. Are
dogs hashers, too?
A. Yes. And
they will get named.
Q. How
many cases of beer are in a keg?
A. 6.9 (it's true).
Q. Is it
gay to be asking all these stupid questions?
A. Yes (not that there's anything wrong with that), but there are no
stupid questions, only stupid people.
Q. I'm
drunk and lost. Should I drink and drive?
A. Yes. But not at the same time. Take the f*cking bus.
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